My roommate from hell: a complete timeline
Day 1: Normal. Pleasant even. Offered to split groceries. I thought I'd gotten lucky.
Day 14: The fridge situation began. She started filling the entire top shelf with mason jars of unclear contents. None of them labeled. Some appeared to be fermenting. She said it was "a health thing" and asked me not to move them. There were eleven jars. The shelf holds maybe fifteen items total.
Day 30: The notes. First one was on the bathroom mirror: "Please be mindful of the shared space energy." Not what the note said, that's a reconstruction, but that was the energy. They escalated over the next two weeks to cover: the TV volume at 8pm on a Tuesday, my choice of dish soap ("synthetic fragrance is a known irritant"), and the fact that I had a phone call in the kitchen at a normal volume.
Day 45: Her sister arrived. Then her sister's boyfriend. Then what I believe was her cousin. They were staying for "just a few days." They stayed for nineteen days. The cousin slept on the couch and ate my yogurt. I did not say anything because I was afraid of another note.
Day 67: Lease end. I gave my notice, packed in four days, and left. No forwarding address. I found a studio in Dilworth and I have not had a roommate since. This was fourteen months ago. I am at peace.